Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Grown Up Music and Children

I recently read an article in GQ or Parenting magazine (honestly can't remember which) that talked about this subject a bit and it made me think ....

I have a wide ranging taste in music genres. I always have music playing; in the car, in the house and sometimes even on a walk around the neighborhood (Pandora Radio for the Blackberry truly is a godsend). Mostly I listen to rock 'n roll music or jazz. Sometimes I delve into the hip hop world or hard rock and even country music. My favorite bands include the likes of Butch Walker (former front man of The Marvelous Three), Wilco, Arcade Fire, Ryan Adams (not Brian), Miles Davis, Coltrane, Vida Blue, and even Fall Out Boy, etc.. and so on. These are my staples. These are the bands I can't live without.

That being said; I can't stand kids music and therefore I am not one of those parents that only plays kids music in the car when my kid (not my baby goat) is in the car. I have never had nor will I have a kids music CD playing when it is just me and my son. I think those things are reserved for learning time like when the kids are all together at day care or at preschool or while I am at work and my wife is trying to teach my son something new. Heck I don't know the words to more than half of the kids songs that my wife and son sing every now and then.

I don't see what is wrong with going with what you know and exposing your children to music that has some real substance. I am not saying that I would play the likes of Tupac and Biggy or Pantera while my son is in the backseat but I will play some Arcade Fire and Wilco and most other music. Why not? He learns something from these songs and he might one day develop a love for good music instead of being a top 40 junky.

Where am I going with this? Just last night for example, Ryker was dancing to my selection of music (which happened to be the latest Fall Out Boy album) in the living room and seeing this made me smile. I wasn't smiling because of his awesome dancing skills (he is definitely my child) but because he was truly enjoying the music. He found something in it that made him want to move his body and shake his head to. Thinking to myself that FOB isn't exactly dancing music I attempted to change it to something with more of a beat, namely A Tribe Called Quest circa 1993, but he wanted nothing to do with it. The hard rock style is more his speed and I won't take that away from him.

All of you parents out there who don't get to listen to anything but kidz bop 193 or songs for toddlers 10 think next time before you fire up the CD player or iPod and maybe play that favorite Beck album of yours at a level suitable for growing ear drums and watch their little hips start to shake and heads start to bob. I think you will find that both of you will be much happier with your selection and you might just be able to escape the monotony of singing your 1, 2, 3's and ABC's over and over and over and over again and again.

Don't get me wrong, learning is great and it has its place but try and expose your children to a little bit of what you like. Who knows you might find out you have something in common other than your genetic construct.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Feeding Curiosity


that looks a lot like a wrench I have been missing
I have always been curious about how things work. So curious that I like to take things apart sometimes just to see the inside and learn how to put it back together. I don't know how young I was when I began taking things apart and putting them back together (or trying to) but I know that some of my first memories are of my Opa (my father's father) and his little workshop in his basement at 1212 Peach Street.

Opa had a ton of tools that fascinated me as a child and he liked to fix old radios; of which he had quite the collection. He passed away shortly after I turned 5. When he was alive he would sit me on his workbench and allow me to play with a small screwdriver set while he would tinker with his radios. I remember sitting atop of his old work bench with a little red and yellow handled screwdriver set (that came in a little pocket protector pouch) poking, prodding and screwing little screws on presumably broken circuit boards that he would allow me to handle.

When I was three or four (I can't really distinguish the time of the memories, only that I possess these distinct memories of him) I would sneak into his workshop to snoop around. He always caught me before I would mess with something. It was as if he had some sort of detection skills that let him know when one of the kids was messing with his stuff. He wouldn't yell at me but rather show me what something did or what he was doing with it and what it was supposed to do.

Opa used to take me into the workshop when my older brother and cousin would be teasing me to keep me occupied with something else. I remember his thick Dutch accent well telling me, "Don't cry Billy D. Forget those boys. They are too old for you. Come play with me instead." To this day this is what I remember him most for. He was my savior back then and I will always thank him not only for saving me from my evil older brother but also for fostering the curiosity inside of me for how things work that I had as a young boy.

The reason I have been thinking about him and my inquisitive side is that I have recently noticed this curiosity in my son. Already at age two he is turning things over or trying to open stuff to see what is inside. He even tips his power wheels four wheeler over and "fixes" it with his play tools. His imagination gets me laughing so hard sometimes because he actually thinks he is fixing something. I'll ask him "what are ya fixin bud" and his response always sounds something like "I dunno but its broke dada".

For me, this is amazing because I am still learning what a lot of things do and now when I learn new things I will be able to pass the knowledge on to him. One day while working on my mountain bike he literally sat and watched for a couple of minutes holding my tools for me. Neither of us knew what we were doing but we got it working, together.
What's that dada?

Maybe his obsession with matchbox cars will translate to a curiosity of engines and fast cars like mine did. That will give us something in common that we can work on together. I just have to stay ahead of the curve and learn about the things we work on before he does so I always seem smarter (even though all of us know that isn't the truth). We can't have him getting a leg up on his old man now can we?


Only time will tell whether I can be helpful or not but I will try my hardest to be a resource for his ever growing inquisitiveness. I guess that is the goal here; to always be looked up to and revered.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Separation Anxiety

Recently my son has been spending more and more time at his grandparents and away from home at night. For example he was at my mothers on Wednesday to Thursday and home for Thursday night but he will be gone to my in-laws for the weekend and we will not see him again until Sunday.

My wife hates it that he is gone and frankly so do I. At first it was nice to get a night to focus attention on us and have some quality time together for relaxing and whatnot. Now it just feels weird to us. It is great that he gets to see his grandparents but we just don't know what to do when he isn't around.

The house is quiet. The dogs are lazy and sad. Toys lay about limp and unanimated. We wonder how he is doing and what he is doing at any given time and resist picking up the phone ten times a day to call. It is kind of sad.

Granted, we do go do couples things and have "date nights" when he is gone but when we get home we want him to be there. It is like our home isn't quite right without him in it. It has become normal to have that noise of him up to something or him saying his ABC's or 123's; him yelling at the dog for taking his snacks or something. Anything is better than the silent house.

I guess what I am saying is that my wife and I are guilty of what we never thought possible. We have separation anxiety and we are proud to say that we hate being away from our child, even though we know it is good for him to be with his grandparents.

Are we pathetic that we can't just go about our business without him there or are we normal for feeling like it isn't business as usual when he isn't around and we can't pretend that it is? Does anybody else feel this way when the mini me isn't around?