Thursday, July 26, 2012

Fat Kids do Win ...

Recently I heard the quote, "Fat kids never win." (hint: it came from a skinny person)

I was a fat kid. I had a belly and I wore "husky" jeans. I wore bigger shirts when I was twelve than I do now. I had exercised induced asthma due to my extra heft. When I visited the doctor for my yearly check up he would literally make fun of me. I suspect he was hard on me because I was unduly overweight and it was all my fault for shoving snack food in my mouth by the bag full. He was right.

I used to eat a lot when I was a kid. Food was my comfort zone. When I was little (pre 2nd grade) I was a skinny little runt just like all the other kids I knew. From 2nd grade until about 8th grade I was a balloon (albeit an adorable balloon). I was still active and I still participated in sports (I was a pretty good baseball player) I just ate twice as much as I should have. I ate and ate and ate. I never met a candy bar I didn't like. Chips and pretzels were eaten with haste. Licorice and Ice Cream? Sure, just put it in the same bowl and throw some chocolate syrup on top of that. Thanks.

For the longest time I didn't understand why I ate so voraciously and it wasn't until I started thinking about girls that I really made an effort to slim down. High school girls don't like the fat kid so I changed my diet and I suspect the 6 days of hockey a week helped slim me down as well but I really never understood it; the eating.

It wasn't until I was in college that I realized that it was my coping mechanism. My parents divorced when I was about 5 years old and I never thought it really affected me all that much until I look back and realize that it was around that time that I started just devouring candy and other foodstuffs. Now I am not blaming them for my childhood obesity (that's on me) but I realize now that was the reason for it.

Where am I going with this?

As an adult I am obsessed with food and nutrition; OBSESSED. I still snack on sweets from time to time but I try to do it in moderation and I balance it with proper diet and exercise. I go years without eating drive thru. I am trying to pass on good eating habits to my children without preventing them from enjoying food and snacks.

I don't want them to go through what I did as a pre-teen. The teasing and shame associated with being overweight was very damaging to me and became a defining part of my life. Kids are cruel, there is no doubt about it. I held on to every taunt and every conveyance of hatred sent my way due to my weight and I used it as a motivational tool to get in shape when I was in high school. It was my crutch for years and as an adult it caused a lot of guilty feelings inside. I felt guilty for eating fatty foods. I felt guilty for the way I chased around girls in high school and college. I felt guilty for the way it all affected my relationships with people. I still feel guilty when I eat fatty foods and don't get any exercise for that day. I no longer feel guilty about my actions because I have come to terms with my past and let it all go.

My goal is to prevent all that; all those mistakes for my kids. I know I can't prevent mistakes for my children. Mistakes are part of life and life's learning process and they have to happen. I get that, but I want to prevent my children from having to put up with the skinny kids making them feel like they are less than great. Life isn't fair but as a father I can help my children build themselves up to conquer the playing field and part of that is to instill a positive attitude regarding food and diet and exercise. Along with teaching them discipline regarding the foods they eat I can take the time to teach my children that disrespecting someone due to their weight or appearance is unacceptable. I can teach them that and hope that they follow those simple rules of life.

As much as we wish we didn't, we live in a culture that regards fitness and looks highly. It is the fit that win the ball game. It is looks that initially attracts one to another. It is fitness that establishes confidence and self esteem within a person. I can't tell you how much better I began to feel about myself when I looked down at my stomach and saw abs instead of flab. It was at that moment that I realized that I needed to keep making the right choices for myself to continue to look and feel the best I could in life. Now that I have two children I feel like I need to pass on that feeling to them so that they will feel confident in their skin and try their best to keep themselves fit and healthy as best they can.

I am no perfectly physically fit. I do not own a 6 pack these days. I am never going to be an underwear model but at the age of 30 I still fit in my clothes and I can still keep up with guys in their early twenties at men's league. My wish for my son and daughter is for them to always feel comfortable in their own skin and not have to feel like I did back then.

It was a struggle getting to where I have been physically due to the choices I made as a child. I religiously went to the gym for years. I still watch what I eat constantly. I have driven myself to the point of insanity about routines. I will not be overweight again.

We as a nation have an ever increasing belt line and I want to make sure that my children aren't part of the problem but rather agents of change for their generation. I want them to carry positive attitudes regarding life and I hope they pass them on to others.

Do fat kids ever win? I'd say I have. I have won in team sports (a baseball championship, hockey tournaments) I have won in academics (college degree, trivia contests) and I have won the heart of my wife and my children.

Fat kids do win.