Origin of the story ...

The origin of the name "Dada's Shoes" is something of a cute kind of story.

I have a lot of shoes. I also have a tendency to leave my shoes laying around the house, which drives my wife insane.

It goes like this. Dada gets home from work. He sits down in his chair with the little one and pets the dogs. The shoes come off. There they lay until the next morning or, more likely, until my wife walks by and says "there's dada's shoes again where they shouldn't be", before moving them to the shoe closet in the hallway (or throwing them down the basement stairs).

She has said this so many times that my son caught on very early and started picking them up and saying "these dada's shoes" and throwing them in the hallway with a sigh. It became sort of a running joke around the house due to the fact that it was one of the first phrases from the kids mouth.

Here's to my penchant for shoes and the greatest ones ever worn.

Being Cool ...

I used to be so cool. I always had new clothes, I was invited to all the fun parties, I had friends (lots of friends), I was a regular at shows and I had friends in bands (good bands). It is unfair how much fun I had when I was in college. I forgot how cool I used (key tense is the past) to be until my wife and I went out to dinner together for our anniversary.

I used to get excited to go out and have a fancy dinner and spend money going out to a show or a movie. Nine times out of ten I would know ten people before I bellied up to the bar. Nowadays I know noone and I feel out of place in bars. It is as if I step into a different world everytime we venture out into the night anymore.

What happened? It isn't as if I as a person have changed much really. My attitude about life hasn't changed. I am still a happy go lucky person who wants nothing more than to have a little fun in life before it is gone. My taste in music hasn't changed and neither has my taste in good spirits and ales, although my appetite for the latter may have been suppressed over the last few years I still like to imbibe from time to time.

So what is it?

My priority in life before children was fun. It was fun in the sense that I wanted to be out with friends drinking and staying out late. At the time it was the cool thing to do; to enjoy my time with friends creating memories that we can all hold on to and look back on.

My priority in life now is fun. It is fun in the sense that I want to enjoy as much time as possible with my family and help my son grow and learn and enjoy his life as much as possible. It is the coolest thing I can do to ensure that my son and my family grows into something beautiful.

Priorities change, but they don't. The number one priority in life is to enjoy the time you are given on this blue marble of a planet in this mortal coil. It just so happens that circumstance dictates how we enjoy that time and how we view its "coolness" factor.

There was a time in my life that I couldn't dream of having kids; let alone having a wonderful, charismatic and smart kid that impresses me every minute of the day. I thought I was the coolest guy in the room and maybe I was then (probably not). Now that I have a family I can't dream of anywhere I would rather be on a Friday night than in my living room wrestling around and watching Phineas and Ferb.

So what happened? Am I less "cool" now that I don't wear 200 dollar jeans and spend 100 bucks every Friday on drinks and food? Am I less cool now that my best friend is a 2 year old and instead of grabbing a beer we go out for milk shakes? Maybe I am but you won't hear me complain. I still think I am pretty damn cool. It's not as if I started wearing sweater vests and pleated khakis. I didn't start exclusively listening to classical music and polka all of a sudden. I still have most of my friends even if I don't see them as much as I used to. Heck, I still have friends in bands. I might never go out and watch them play anymore (I have grown to hate smoky bars) but I still have friends in bands nonetheless.

I have a house, a beautiful wife and son (and a daughter on the way). I'd say I am even more cool than I used to be. I have a real purpose now. Rather than just existing to exist I now exist to provide, educate and love for the benefit of something greater than myself and my selfish wants. How cool is that?

Would I still like to spend a bundle on clothes and cars? Yeah why not (who doesn't), but that's now an afterthought.

The cars and the clothes will come in time. What matters is that now everyone surrounding me is happy and that I am happy with everyone surrounding me. I couldn't be any happier if a safe full of gold coins fell on my parked car right now. Well that's a lie. If that happened I would be happy and warm on a white sandy beach building sand castles with the kid while the waves crash around us (oh to win the lottery).

Am I cool? To Ryker I am the coolest guy in the room still ...

Let's hope that lasts a long time because when that coolness wears off then I am going to be truly lost.

So when you parents are out and you feel like you are less cool than your childless friends who are always partying and seemingly having endless fun think about it for a minute. Think about what they go home to every night. Think about what they miss out on. Smile knowingly because you truly know the meaning of cool.

Writer's Block and Number Two

I have been suffering as of late. I am suffering from a lack of interesting things to say. They call it writer's block. When you are trying to start a new website and keep people interested writer's block can become very stressful.

I have had a few ideas on what to write about and every time I sit down to plot it out it just comes out all wrong.

Recently (directly after Christmas) we started what most people refer to as Potty Training Boot Camp in our home. With another baby on the way we decided the quicker we get our son out of diapers the better. With that goal in mind we set out on what we thought was going to be the most difficult journey in parenting we had yet to face.

Boy were we wrong.

This kid must be as driven as we are about getting rid of diapers as we had little to no problem with tackling #1. It was amazing how quickly he caught on to peeing in the potty and recognizing when he had to go so he could notify someone about it.

With #1 out of the way we kind of eased him into tackling #2 and crossing that task off the list. With the sweeping success of getting him away from peeing in the diaper we were uber excited to get away from cleaning dookie as well. Not as easy peasy as our critically acclaimed success we had attained prior.

I don't know why kids have such an issue with pooping in a sitting position. Maybe it is because they are so used to their assumed stance on the issue (pun intended). I mean we would put him on the pot and read him books, sing songs, let him play with cars and everything else under the sun that can appropriately be done whilst sitting on the porcelain throne. Heck, we even put his potty in front of the TV and let him watch an hour of cartoons once. No go; but as soon as we stuck that diaper back on and let him go ... BOOM goes the dynamite!!

Back to the drawing board.

So it went. For about 6 weeks we were still at an impasse. We tried and cried and trucked along and one day he looked up at me and said (I think it was Super Bowl Sunday actually) "I have go poop daddy". So I went to put a diaper on him (futility leads to weird rituals) and he stopped me and said "Not in a diaper, on the potty".

"Okay let's try it."

Boy did he go. We invited the neighbors to look at it and threw a party!! (that part was totally fabricated but seriously I cried tears of joy and danced down the hall)

Ever since we have had a house broken toddler with no use for diapers. For safety's sake we still put a pull up on at bed time but we are thinking that is going to stop soon as well.

What I am trying to say I guess is that I don't really have any advice for you if you are trying to potty train because I feel, even with the minor set back, like we had it too easy with him. I suppose if I can offer one bit of advice it would be to have patience if you reach an impasse. You can't force it (pun also intended) so you need to let it happen on it's own time.

Your child will tell you when he or she is ready for the big game so to speak and when they do you will feel a great sigh of relief in knowing that your shit wiping days are behind you (with this one at least) and that you can save a ton of money on diapers from here on out.

So here I stand. A proud father of a child who pees and poops in a toilet like a normal human being, and he is only two (gloating yes). I am very proud of my kid and very satisfied with his progress in every single way.

I am running out of things to write for now but I am sure it will pick up. I might expand my focus a little bit. In fact I will have to, seeing that we are having a daughter in April.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks Tina!!

Focus on Greatness

I have never been great at any one thing in my life. There I said it.

This statement has been rising up in my thoughts a lot lately. I see professional athletes making it big because they are great at one sport. I see VP's and CEO's rise up because they are great at a certain facet of business. I see musicians make it huge because they are great at their instrument or they have a great voice. Actors, Doctors, Salespeople and the list goes on.

The fact is, I have never dedicated enough time to ONE singular subject or activity to become great at it. It isn't for lack of encouragement to do so (I have had plenty of encouragement in my life) but rather it is due to my lack of interest in pigeonholing myself into one single skill. In my life I have had the opportunity to become a master at many different things, as we all have. As human beings we are born with the ability to focus on one subject and master it or we can choose not to have focus; thus enabling our minds to grasp aspects of many different subjects.

Focus I guess is something that I have lacked in my past life.

I was once focused on becoming as good as I could have been at hockey when I was in high school and I became a pretty good hockey player. The fact of the matter is I am from a region that doesn't exactly produce NHL All Stars on a regular basis so I (like many of my peers in Western PA in the 90's) was limited to playing high school and club hockey and not making it past freshmen year club hockey in college. The realization was that I wasn't going to be an NHL'er and that was okay with me. I was far from being good enough to even chase the dream. That is something I learned quickly when I tried out for a division 1 program and took my first blind side hit during scrimmages from a guy that looked like he was thirty and hit like a mack truck. Must be something in the Canadian water.

Since those days (10 years ago I graduated high school), seeing that I was never going to be a professional athlete or an Oscar winning performer, I have kind of made a choice that I want to learn about as many different aspects of this life that I can. I used to say (cheesy I know) that I wanted to be a modern day renaissance man. I took my time graduating from college because I wanted to take classes in a few different majors because I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to be as an adult worker bee, and still don't. Took a year and a half off to work and play. I did some travelling and bought some cars. So on and so forth.

So here I am. Jack of all trades. Father. Husband. Salesman. Beer league center ice man. Son. Blogger. Thinker. Brother. Golfer. Shade Tree Mechanic. Tim Taylor.

Father. It sticks out and permeates me to the core. It is the one aspect in this life that has become effortless for me to focus on. Fatherhood is the best profession in the world for me. I am responsible for teaching life skills to my son and soon to be daughter (oh I forgot to tell you that we are having a baby girl in April of this year) and I take the task very seriously. If I can be truly great at one singular thing on this earth before I die I hope it is being a father.

After all, being a father requires one to wear many hats which is something I feel quite capable of doing. You are a teacher, a counselor, a disciplinarian, a coach, cheerleader, bus driver, provider, etc... but the best thing about being a father is that you are constantly learning from and evolving with your children throughout their lives that are infinitely intertwined with your own.

Digging deeper into the issue.

When my children show an interest and aptitude for a subject, be it music, sports, academics; should I push him or her to focus on the subject to become great at it? After all the ones who get the glory it seems are the ones who excel at their chosen discipline.

It is not I who will ever be recognized with a parade for what I do in my life; I have accepted that. My children however still have the chance to someday ride on their own float and get paid tons of money and respect for being great at something singular. All I want as a father is for my children to feel like they are something special everyday. In order to do that should I encourage them to dedicate their full attention to what they are most interested in from the beginning or should I encourage them to try many different things and choose for themselves.

The only clear cut answer from historical results is to focus on one subject and forget about the rest until after you have mastered what was first and most important.

Does this approach seem like a feasible one for development. Will it leave my children wanting more or will they revel in it from the recognition?

Do Mario Lemieux or Serena Williams ever think "I wish I would have spent more time learning science or something else" or do they love their lives knowing that they were the best, at one point in their career, at what they did and in doing so they have afforded themselves a life that no mere mortal will ever know?

People always say that a balanced education is the best approach to life but we always cheer for those on the top of their game. Which one is it?

Slow Week ... Weak Post

It's been a slow news week around our neck of the woods.

Everyone is sick with some sort of daycare concoction of cough and sniffle and Christmas is taking up all of our time. Shopping is almost all done, the Christmas cards are in the mail and Santa should be on his way soon; 11 days left to be exact.

ELEVEN DAYS!!!!

My family is leaving me this weekend. Not for good mind you, but they are going to visit some family in Georgia for 5 days leaving me to my own devices alone in a house with two dogs for a long weekend. What shall I do while they are gone?

It's funny how things are so much different these days. B.C. (that is before children for the layperson) I would have been cutting it up at the bar all weekend wasting money and having "fun" with friends.

The only thoughts that crossed my mind about this weekend was "I am gonna be so lonely" and "I guess I can play hockey Friday and Saturday night".

Am I getting old?

I told you it was a slow news week ... I (loosely) promise to be better next week.

This Aggression Will Not Stand ...

A nose only a mother could love.

I am sure most of you are aware that the new fad out there is "anti-bully" everything (they've even got Bieber in on the campaign). As a parent I am all for the progressive behavior that is involved with this campaign to curb bullying in our schools and in our daily life, but someone has gone too far.

I am not so sure if you are aware of George Giuliani and his new book "No More Bullies at the North Pole". My guess is that if you listen to the radio then you have heard of this guy and his mission to destroy our Christmas Classics.

Dr. George Giuliani (according to his online profile)  is the Director of the Graduate School Program in Special Education and a full-time tenured Associate Professor at Hofstra University's School of Education, Health and Human Services and he has written his own version of the story of Rudolph, sans bullying. Dr. Giuliani feels that the original version of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" (Rankin/Bass 1964 stop motion) promotes bullying through Santa Claus, Comet and (gasp!) the reindeer school children. I can't say that I didn't notice the ever present bullying in the movie when I watched it this year.

Apparently (I haven't read it because I tend to try and not read such garbage) "No More Bullies at the North Pole" retells the story of Rudolph in a more favorably less dream crushing way with no teasing or bullying (which I thought was what ultimately made Rudolph who he was).

Of course, the conservative news media is alllll over this guy this week; thus making themselves look even more jackassier than they ever have. This guy has gotten coverage from Michelle Malkin who has a ridiculous interview with the guy and a comedian named Brad Stine (who looks like he would jump you in an alley to take your lunch money) to lambaste this poor old fool on national TV through the outlet of Fox and Friends.

Granted (and I hate to say this) Michelle and Brad are correct to rake this guy over the coals. This whole concept of revising classics because they do not seem to be in line with todays PC thinking is just ridiculous. These classics serve as a lesson that bullying can lead to someone using the negativity to prevail and overcome.

If I am correct Rudolph becomes "the most famous reindeer of all" by the end of the story. Do you think that would have happened if none of his peers would have taunted him or if he didn't have to overcome something severe in his life. Yes I know I am waxing intellectual about a fictional clay figure on a television screen.

Let's take it one step further and say we start revising television history and taking out what we don't want our children to learn (I think the Nazi party burned books for this very reason) and we change the story of "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas".

That whole tale is loaded with bully tactics and a negative attitude towards one individual. The bullying he suffered as a child at the hands of the Who populace eventually led him to literally steal Christmas from them. The message of this story for the children watching it is to not be a grinch and to enjoy the holidays and share with your fellow man.

Maybe it should be to include everyone and not alienate your peers because one day it might lead them to break into your home and steal your stockings and all of the food from your refrigerator. Heck they might even go as far as stealing your tree because you sang a song calling them mean and "as charming as an eel" even going so far as to say that they are a "three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich, with arsenic sauce". I mean who says that kind of stuff. Let's ban it in these United States. Our children can't listen to this crap, it might lead them to ... smile. Heck they might even laugh at it. God forbid they learn something.

Back to the subject: Bullying. I was bullied, as were most of you out there raising children and reading this post. You can either take that experience and let it suffocate you or you can learn something from it and rise above.

We can't obliterate the act of bullying across the globe but we can moderate it. If your child is being bullied or they see someone (whether on tv or in person) being bullied we can help them learn from it. As adults our job is not to shield our children from the world around them. We are here to be a buffer and a moderator for the world around them but we need to allow them to experience all that is surrounding them for the good of their development.

I, for one, will allow my children to watch the original version of "Rudolph" and "The Grinch" because I believe there is something to be learned from the entertainment they provide. Who will teach them the morals of the story? Me, because that is my job as a parent. I am the primary (my wife included) teacher of my children and I will take that responsibility with great honor.

If one of my children is a bully I will take him or her aside and read them the riot act as it applies and they will be punished but I will not tolerate the media or some quack from Hofstra saying that my child can't handle the experience of bullying and that we can't show it in our media because it will pollute their mind.

Doesn't Hermey exact a little revenge for his mistreatment on the yetti by ripping out all of its teeth? Anywho ... Merry Christmas!!!!

Santa's Little Red Spy

It's that time of year again. The lights are hung and the tree is up. The mantle looks like an homage to the Three Wise Men (no not Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo and Johnny Walker Black) and Old St. Nick, and it is crunch time for shopping for christmas gifts and convincing our children that they need to "earn" their gifts.

It is the time of year when we encourage good behavior not just for normal reasons but because Santa is watching and we all know what happens to children who are bad when Santa is watching. You get the dreaded lump in your stocking. Although I have never known anyone who has actually received coal in their stocking just the thought of it is a great deterrent to poor attitudes around Christmas time.

How does Santa possibly watch every kid everywhere?

Why he sends out his army of spies to watch over the children of the world, that's how.

Today we put the Elf on the Shelf up and started the whole run around with Felton (the name we chose so cleverly for our felted elf). Last year Ryker was a little too young to understand the concept of the Elf on a Shelf and we couldn't get him too excited to search for it every morning. The whole process ended with a disinterested shrug and "hey there he is" quickly fading to apathy for the little red man sitting in random places around our home.

I truly believe it was his age that rendered him incapable of excitement regarding a little red suited doll that was supposedly watching his every move like a sentry sent from Santa himself.

"What do you mean he is reporting my actions in detail back to the big man with the gifts"

This year will be different and he will be excited (or else).

My question is, why do we as humans only respond to fear when it comes to behavior? Rather; why do parents mainly use fear as a deterrent for bad behavior? Is the presence of a known spy from Santa (Felton the Elf) supposed to goad a child into acting a certain way out of fear, or is the act of finding said spy a form of positive reward?

I know from experience that the threat of getting coal in your stocking works. It worked for me because I didn't want to be that one kid who got coal for Christmas.

"Oh what did you get in your stocking this year?"

 "A big friggin lump of coal"

Somehow that scenario doesn't sit well with a young person showing off his new toys to the kids at school.

I don't know how this Elf on a Shelf is going to work. I haven't seen any studies showing that the Elf has any positive effect on a child's behavior during the Christmas season (I could see the study title now "Elf on a Shelf has blank effect on blank children" presented by Amway Global ). Maybe I could get a government grant to do the study; they give money to scientists for anything these days.



Such a creepy looking little thing.



I guess we are about to find out. It might be a little hard to determine the effects due to the fact that my child is an angel. No joke, I have been blessed with a child that says please and thank you and waits his turn and all that jazz. How this happened I may never know. Maybe my wife and I are truly good parents or maybe my kid is some freak of toddler nature that actually has a conscience but I can't complain because my kid really is a good kid.

We will approach it like a game. Games are fun and kids learn from games so it's a win-win. The biggest challenge is going to be convincing Ryker that he can't touch Felton or it will ruin his magic. The kid touches everything (I swear I don't know where he gets that from).