Happy Thanksgiving!!

I am not going to bore you all with a long winded drawn out post about my sometimes misadventures in parenthood this week (I'll save that for next Wednesday). For this week I will simply leave you with a wish for a Safe and Happy Turkey day.

I wish I had a crazy anecdote to share with you about Thanksgiving like the time my long lost crazy uncle (Lord knows I have a few of those around) dropped in unexpectedly and hilarity ensued but I don't.

Thanksgiving in my house was always something rather subdued and relaxed and very even keeled. I guess it was a day that made up for all the craziness of the rest of the year; a day off from the hustle and bustle that was our non-stop go get em existence. We didn't have to run to practice or games and mom didn't have to jump in the car 18 times for my brother and me.

She had to cook which I guess is stressful enough when you are preparing a grandiose meal for hungry family members but other than that Thanksgiving was always the calm holiday free of drama.

However you celebrate just remember why you are celebrating and enjoy your day off with family or friends or both.

Happy Turkey Day ... that bird ain't gonna eat itself now get stuffin ...

A Wooden Spoon

If you look up the word discipline in the dictionary you will likely come across a word with many different meanings. Today (for this post) I looked it up and found 11 different definitions for this one word (oh the beauty of the english language). Thanks to my mother and father I know the many definitions of the word. They may not be exactly how Webster himself envisioned it to be but trust me, they taught me discipline.

When it comes to the practice of discipline and children today there is a fine line between what is "right" and "wrong". Today, for example, if a child hits their parent they are put in timeout and things are taken away for a determined amount of time (this somehow discourages the act of violence through a nonviolent reaction). If I had ever hit one of my parents (something I never even dreamed of) I would have been pummeled and then thrown in my moms room (since there weren't toys there) to think about why I just got the crap smacked out of me.

By now I assume you are familiar with which meaning of the word I am talking about today so I will further extrapolate on my theory that old school discipline mixed with some features of the new work better than what has been done most recently. I am not advocating that you beat your child senseless for simple acts of disobedience but rather maybe using some gentle force to illustrate that you mean business with your punishment for behavioral deviance.


They come in many shapes and sizes but all of them are useful.


The wooden spoon, for one, is a great deterrent for bad behavior. It is a simple object that is very useful both in and out of the kitchen. First off, you can't do too much damage with a wooden spoon. Any over zealous punishment (excessive force) will be negated when the spoon breaks. Trust me these things break, ask my mother. Second, wooden spoons hurt. They don't hurt as much as maybe a wooden bat or a broken golf club handle (not that I would know or anything) but they hurt enough to leave an impression on a child. Speaking of impressions, I remember when we were kids and we weren't listening or we were just being plain bad my mom would warn us once then she would reach for the dreaded wooden spoon. As soon as she reached for that spoon I would straighten up. My brother on the otherhand; well let's not go there. I'll just say that I got the spoon a lot less than he did and it was all because of that first time I got it. I never forgot.

These days most parents are of the ilk that a child needs to be nurtured when they act out. The child is craving attention if they are being bad. You hear a lot of "oh he/she is just testing boundaries" or "if you do that again you are going to get time out". In my day you heard the rush of wind behind my dads hand right before it smacked you in the back of the head telling you to straighten up or you're going to get it worse when we are at home.

When a child "tests" his or her boundaries how do they get a result of that litmus? My theory is that a lot of children never truly know their boundaries because they have never had any set for them. I am sorry if I am insulting you by saying this but timeout is the ultimate fail in setting boundaries. What does the child learn from sitting in the corner as a punishment? What if the boundary that they were testing was something that could lead them to potentially hurting themselves, or worse hurting someone else in the process? "Hey you just ran out in the middle of the road after I told you not to so I am going to stick you in time out so you can think about what you did" just doesn't get the point across. This time they got lucky and they just had to sit in the corner. What happens when a car is barreling down the street next time and they aren't so lucky?

When you associate a little pain and tears with the punishment you get a much better response in the long haul. Once again, I am not an advocate for child abuse and I would never encourage anyone to beat their child senseless for any reason. I do believe there is a fine line between a smack for punishment and an over the top beating. I also believe that it is a line that most of us can walk and find a balance on.

Try it sometime. Next time your kid or kids are acting up and not listening to your direction (as parents we are directors of our households) give them a smack on the butt with a wooden spoon. Let them cry it out and when they are done sit down with them and make sure they understand why they were disciplined in such a manner. The key isn't in the beating it is in the understanding of why there was one (ah there's the new school). All beings understand pain even at the earliest stages of life. Not all can understand the abstract nature of sitting in a corner especially if their young mind hasn't been trained to understand the theory behind the act.

The next time you are out in public and they start acting up all you will need to say is "wooden spoon" and they will straighten right up and a good time will be had by all.

Slow Down, Give Thanks

Time flies. It seems like yesterday I was walking down the aisle getting my high school diploma. That was a little over ten years ago now. Now I have a beautiful wife and a beautiful son; a home and two dogs. I have responsibilities now that I never thought I deserved and my life is more than I ever imagined. Indeed it is another year later in my life and I am a little older; perhaps a little wiser but maybe not.

With 2011 almost behind us it is Holiday season and I am totally unprepared.

It seems like every year the Christmas advertisements start earlier and earlier. Did they start in August this year? Halloween was just a few days ago and Thanksgiving (increasingly becoming the most overlooked holiday in America) hasn't even happened yet. In fact, it is still three weeks away and we are all as already focused on preparing for Christmas. Slow down a little bit!! It is still almost 8 weeks away for crying out loud.

I love Halloween so I am very happy about the cultural love for the holiday in general. I also love Thanksgiving and it seems to me like we are beginning to disregard it because it is too close to that day where we all get presents. Corporate marketing has totally steered our culture towards Christmas because that is the money day. Meanwhile we are overlooking the symbolic beginning of our culural heritage.

It is true that things didn't quite go down the way we like to romanticize it in our history books but think about it. The first people to celebrate the day of Thanksgiving had true goodness in their hearts for even considering celebrating the day. They were thankful for something as simple as being alive and gathering the harvest.

If you put it in such simple terms and just think of the day as a way of stepping back and slowing down and being thankful for something in your life, anything, you might be surprised how much the day can mean to you.

I used to think that it was just a day to gorge yourself on "turkey and fixins" while watching football all day and sleeping through halftime but I have come to feel that it is something so much more. I guess it is the kid factor or maybe that I am getting older and with each passing day I become more thankful for each one but there is something special about getting together with family and celebrating eachother.

As a parent (heck as a person) I want you to step back during your Christmas shopping trips this month and think for a second what you are really thankful for. Take a look around you and think about what makes you happy in your life and what you can't live without.

If you have children tell them you are thankful for them. Depending on what age they are they will either say thank you or something resembling disgust or disdain (I am thinking about the teens in your lives) but just know that they will get the message someday and they will never forget that you are thankful for them. Someday they will return the sentiment. If you are thankful for your spouse tell them. If you are thankful for your job, your house, your car; whatever it is just take a moment and step back and think about it and just enjoy it.

There truly isn't enough time in the day and time seems to pass by so much faster every year. Maybe you will thank yourself for taking the moment to step back from the news cycle and the sales to be appreciative of life.

It truly is too short so make the most of it. What am I thankful for?

And so much more ...

Trick or Treat ...

It started of "okay"

This year my son was adamant about going trick or treating as Light Duween (that is Lightening McQueen for the uneducated). My wife wanted him so badly to be a pirate. In hindsight a pirate would have been easier to pull off except for maybe the probable wig he would have had to wear.

We looked all over for a decent Lightening McQueen costume for a two year old and found one that didn't kill the pocket book. It was sort of misshapen (is that a word?) and bulky but he liked it and that is what he wanted to be.

Let the kid be what he wants to be for Halloween and he will have a blast. Right?

Once again in unison "Oh how wrong we are" when we first try something new.

The night started off rainy and cold and only escalated from there.

As we crept out into the street he became terrified of the other kids in their costumes and even more afraid of going up to the neighbors porches for candy. Luckily we have some of the best neighbors in the world who were accomodating to the fickle nature of a two year old out on Halloween. Many of them came to him offering treats.

It took a few minutes for him to warm up (though I was hoping to have a lap around the block completed with a pillowcase of goodies by now) but eventually he came around to the concept of asking people for free candy in the rain.

Although he did warm up to the candy part, the costume aspect wasn't such a big hit. And to the right you can see what quickly became of that whole situation.

Even though the suit talked and looked just like his favorite racing car, the boy just didn't want anything to do with it.

I caved and took his costume off hoping that when his friend came along to go around the block he would want to wear a costume too. Although the arrival of said friend did prompt a certain bravery for knocking on doors and yelling "Dick or Deet", it did not encourage the wearing of costume. So as any good dad would have done I carried the costume in hand while we visited the neighborhood candy givers all the while telling the story of how my child hated his costume.

All in all it was a pretty decent evening, save for the rain. We hauled in a decent amount of candy for a two year old throwing a hissy fit and Ryker enjoyed some time with a friend. As did Dad.

Here's to next year ....



Ryker the "lumber jack" and Spaceman Friend.