Fathers think a little differently

We are men. We are self centered by nature. We get up in the morning thinking about how good it is to be a man and what we are going to do for us today. A wife and kids are good referees in this game we play with ourselves. They can build us up when we feel down on ourselves for not being manly enough or knock us down a peg when our manliness gets out of control.  We all deserve it now and then.
From birth we are men by nature; self centered and wild. It is only through life that we are domesticated to the point where we can control our primal urges to just be what we were meant to be. Through our sophistication these urges to be manly now often manifest through our interests in life. Some of us love cars, football, hockey or something of the sort. These are sports or activities that allow us to flex our muscles, whether they are figurative or literal, in a controlled environment. Many of us equate speed and power with manliness. What is manlier than skating up ice and crushing your opponent on the blue line, stealing the puck and scoring that game winner high glove side? What about taking that quarter mile in under 10 seconds or scoring a touchdown with a beautiful sideline catch over a defenders head?

What am I getting at you ask? I am obviously talking about fatherhood and the promotion of manly feats and features. Duh!!

I am a father. More importantly I am a father to a beautiful son who needs guidance in life. He needs his father to act like a man and help him become a man himself.  Call me a bit old school but I believe a boy needs his father more than anyone in his life to become a man. Don’t get me wrong. I was largely raised by my mother and I am proud of that fact, but were it not for the positive male role models in my family I don't think I would have ever come to be the man that I am. Only a man can show a boy what it takes to grow up and do the right thing.
One of my biggest pet peeves is this new philosophy that parents are promoting to their sons and daughters that it is okay not to abide by gender boundaries. I am a firm believer that boys should be boys and girls should be girls. Nowadays my attitude would be countered with the question, " what does that mean girls and boys are capable all of the same things in life you sexist jerk." My response is that you are totally correct save for a few minor details.  I, nor my son, will ever carry to term and birth a child. A woman will never be faced with the threat of prostate cancer or testicular cancer. By now you are picking up what I am putting down. Woman and men although similar in capabilities are inherently different and therefore think differently. I am here to be a voice for men and their thoughts about raising children the way we see fit.
Being that I have a son and only a son most of the things I will be saying will obviously be geared towards the things I do while raising my son. If and when I have a daughter I will become more balanced as I attempt to raise her to be a woman and to do womanly things with her life, but right now I don’t have to worry about all that stuff just yet.

I am talking about raising my son to become a man. I am not talking about being just a beer swilling, crude, foul mouthed and disrespectful man. I am talking about the fine line that it will take to not only raise my son to be a manly man but to also be a gentleman in the formal sense. I am talking about raising him to hold doors for women and elderly people. I am talking about saying please and thank you. I am talking about the things that make a man a man, not just an overgrown boy. Many of these things I learned from my mother. The man things I learned from watching and observing other men and how they conduct their business of life. Luckily I have had some good role models and I have been smart enough to be able to identify the bad ones.

If you are a father (or a mother interested in how us fathers think) please enjoy my rants and sometimes advice about being a father and what it means to our sons for us to be the best role models we can be while staying light hearted and manly in today’s world of gender ambiguity.

Your constructive comments are welcomed and appreciated.