an·ti·so·cial
[an-tee-soh-shuhl, an-tahy-] Show IPA
adjective
1.
unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly waywith other people: He's not antisocial, just shy.
2.
antagonistic, hostile, or unfriendly toward others; menacing;threatening: an antisocial act.
3.
4.
Psychiatry . of or pertaining to a pattern of behavior in which social norms and the rights of others are persistently violated.
Recently my wife called me antisocial. Me. Antisocial. Right!!! That's funny right?!?
At first I adamantly denied her proclamation and tried to cite reasons why I am NOT antisocial, "I have like 1000 friends on Facebook!!". Sadly I couldn't really bring up any valid responses to her claim.
It is true I have lost touch with many of my friends who would typically be around or within a phone call on any given night, but I am not what is defined as an antisocial person as you can clearly see from the definition above. I am not. I swear I'm not. Really.
Some of my friends have moved to different states. Many of my friends are still living the party life and are sans offspring. In either case I have lost some common ground with my old friends. The fact that they are my friends (they all know who they are) will be the common ground always moving forward but for the most part we have all grown in different directions.
It is okay to grow in different directions; it does not mean we are not still friends it just means that we have grown in opposite directions. It is pretty simple really; no need to complicate things.
We still get together from time to time to have some fun and reminisce about the past. Some of my friends even come to my home and enjoy time with my family on the weekends and my son loves them. They are his friends now and they come to see him (he never lets me forget that fact). I am sure my daughter will slide in there right in front of me on that issue in the future as well.
Anywho; back to this antisocial jab that was thrown in my face.
I don't get it.
I still play hockey once a week and meet new people doing that all the time. I talk to people all day at work; I am in sales afterall. I don't shy away from conversation when I am in social situations and I certainly have no trouble talking to new people.
I think she was referring to my penchant for staying home rather than going out to the club on a Friday night. Maybe she was alluding to the fact that the total number of minutes used on my cell phone plan pales in comparison to her usage. Maybe it is because I just would rather play cars in the living room or sword fight in the back yard with the two year old than attend a party or go to a bar.
The truth is that I am enjoying my time being a dad.
I like to spend social time on the ice with guys I hardly know because it is a healthy way to have fun. We speak a common language and play the same game.
I don't like hang overs. I love my friends and I talk to them on the phone. We get together from time to time but they don't have responsibilities like I do. Many of them have homes and good jobs but the one thing that separates and will always separate (until they procreate, that is) is that I have two wonderful kids that need me and with whom I want to spend as much time as I can even if it means that I am losing a few friends along the way.
True friends understand my disappearance and they will always be called friends and they will always be on the guest list. True friends call and the first thing they say is "how's the family". True friends can tolerate when I have to cancel or respond to an invitation as a no show.
The truth is that I may be becoming antisocial in a way but I believe it may be healthy for me and my family.
I am still me and I still have things to talk about. Those things just might include spit up, poop, boogers and how to teach a child the proper way to hold a hockey stick or golf club.
Heck I had a party at the house recently with some friends and it went swimmingly. I might even attend a wedding this summer and I am planning the family reunion. If that isn't socializing I don't know what is.
If this is an antisocial existence then I guess I am antisocial. I like it.
True Friends might even read this.
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