"Because the dogs lick your faces"

"Sit down on the couch, I need to talk to you both."

My wife and I looked at each other and snickered. Our two year old was calling the shots.

"What is it buddy?"

As if Carter didn't lick his face here.

"I need you two to stop being the bosses. You hurt my feelings."

(giggles) In unison "Why are we not the boss of you anymore."

"Because you let the dogs lick your faces."

The reasoning of a two year old isn't exactly rational. I will give it to him though; he gave it his best attempt.

Lately we have been dealing with a very strong willed son who doesn't necessarily want to obey our orders or take direction. This has led us to be a bit more stern than usual but far from hurting someone's feelings. This is a two year old we are dealing with though so I assume that he equates his anger over not getting his way with hurt feelings.

We thought we got through the terrible two's without him being terrible but I suppose that can rollover into his third year.

I am glad he decided to vent his frustration in a cordial manner (having us sit down to talk) rather than just screaming at us. I suppose that is progress and a testament to our parenting style that he chose a calm forum over a heated battle. He will be a good tactician someday if he learns to hone those speaking and reasoning skills.

"Because the dogs lick your faces .... " we argued was not a valid reason for us to no longer be in charge of the household. After all, the dogs lick his face too. They are dogs. It is what they do to show affection (or search for food from their master). He was adamant that they did in fact not lick his face and that since we let them lick ours it is time that we relinquish our power and let him rule the roost.

He certainly has rule over the two dogs so why not try to assume control of the other humans in the house as well. It is a rational thought.

I think maybe they are all in collusion to gain authority

Needless to say we are still "the bosses" and he is still "getting his feelings hurt" when we make him do things like sit at the table and finish his dinner or pick up his toys before we go to bed. While I am sure the attempts to usurp our authority will not stop anytime soon, he will have to find another excuse as to why my wife and I are no longer acceptable alphas of our pack.


Maybe next time kid ...