Being Cool ...

I used to be so cool. I always had new clothes, I was invited to all the fun parties, I had friends (lots of friends), I was a regular at shows and I had friends in bands (good bands). It is unfair how much fun I had when I was in college. I forgot how cool I used (key tense is the past) to be until my wife and I went out to dinner together for our anniversary.

I used to get excited to go out and have a fancy dinner and spend money going out to a show or a movie. Nine times out of ten I would know ten people before I bellied up to the bar. Nowadays I know noone and I feel out of place in bars. It is as if I step into a different world everytime we venture out into the night anymore.

What happened? It isn't as if I as a person have changed much really. My attitude about life hasn't changed. I am still a happy go lucky person who wants nothing more than to have a little fun in life before it is gone. My taste in music hasn't changed and neither has my taste in good spirits and ales, although my appetite for the latter may have been suppressed over the last few years I still like to imbibe from time to time.

So what is it?

My priority in life before children was fun. It was fun in the sense that I wanted to be out with friends drinking and staying out late. At the time it was the cool thing to do; to enjoy my time with friends creating memories that we can all hold on to and look back on.

My priority in life now is fun. It is fun in the sense that I want to enjoy as much time as possible with my family and help my son grow and learn and enjoy his life as much as possible. It is the coolest thing I can do to ensure that my son and my family grows into something beautiful.

Priorities change, but they don't. The number one priority in life is to enjoy the time you are given on this blue marble of a planet in this mortal coil. It just so happens that circumstance dictates how we enjoy that time and how we view its "coolness" factor.

There was a time in my life that I couldn't dream of having kids; let alone having a wonderful, charismatic and smart kid that impresses me every minute of the day. I thought I was the coolest guy in the room and maybe I was then (probably not). Now that I have a family I can't dream of anywhere I would rather be on a Friday night than in my living room wrestling around and watching Phineas and Ferb.

So what happened? Am I less "cool" now that I don't wear 200 dollar jeans and spend 100 bucks every Friday on drinks and food? Am I less cool now that my best friend is a 2 year old and instead of grabbing a beer we go out for milk shakes? Maybe I am but you won't hear me complain. I still think I am pretty damn cool. It's not as if I started wearing sweater vests and pleated khakis. I didn't start exclusively listening to classical music and polka all of a sudden. I still have most of my friends even if I don't see them as much as I used to. Heck, I still have friends in bands. I might never go out and watch them play anymore (I have grown to hate smoky bars) but I still have friends in bands nonetheless.

I have a house, a beautiful wife and son (and a daughter on the way). I'd say I am even more cool than I used to be. I have a real purpose now. Rather than just existing to exist I now exist to provide, educate and love for the benefit of something greater than myself and my selfish wants. How cool is that?

Would I still like to spend a bundle on clothes and cars? Yeah why not (who doesn't), but that's now an afterthought.

The cars and the clothes will come in time. What matters is that now everyone surrounding me is happy and that I am happy with everyone surrounding me. I couldn't be any happier if a safe full of gold coins fell on my parked car right now. Well that's a lie. If that happened I would be happy and warm on a white sandy beach building sand castles with the kid while the waves crash around us (oh to win the lottery).

Am I cool? To Ryker I am the coolest guy in the room still ...

Let's hope that lasts a long time because when that coolness wears off then I am going to be truly lost.

So when you parents are out and you feel like you are less cool than your childless friends who are always partying and seemingly having endless fun think about it for a minute. Think about what they go home to every night. Think about what they miss out on. Smile knowingly because you truly know the meaning of cool.